I do a lot of business networking and there is always that moment when you get to speak to the whole group about your business and what you do -- you know, the elevator speech. Well someone invariably expresses how nervous it makes them to get up in front of a group. I invariably respond “I know, I get excited also!”
Physiologically, there is no difference between what both of us are experiencing. We both have shortness of breath, butterflies in our stomachs, rapid heartbeats, adrenaline pumping, sweaty palms, however, we give that physical experience completely different meanings. They think that it is frightening to get up in front of a group and I feel excited anytime I get to share what I do.
So what is going on here? Well physiologically our bodies are preparing themselves for a significant event in which we need to be focused and aware of our surroundings. Mentally and emotionally though, we are doing something completely different. That other person is probably playing the “what if” game. “What if I screw this up?” “What if no one likes me?” “What if I forget something?”
I’m usually thinking about how I can be of service to the people in the room by educating them about what I do and how I can help them or their friends.
You see, I’ve learned a handy little formula that helps me keep things into perspective. Fear minus Danger equals Excitement. I learned a long time ago that when my body gives me a fear response and yet there is no real physical danger (no lions, tigers or bears waiting to eat me) that I’m really feeling excitement.
Think about it this way, when you are in line waiting to ride the latest rollercoaster that flips you up and down and all around, aren’t you feeling excited? Or maybe when you’re in line for the latest sequel of your favorite movie? Or you’re about to sign the lease on that great new car you’ve always wanted? Aren’t you feeling your heart race and your stomach flutter and your palms sweat? So how come you don’t say how afraid you are?
Because you realize there is no real danger and in fact this stuff is a lot of fun.
So here is what I want you to do – the next time you are about to speak in front of a group check out the room. Is there any real danger? No lions or tigers or bears waiting to eat you? Good. Then find a good reason to get excited and get up there and knock them out of their seats.
If you need more help, you can always check out our new hypnosis mp3 download Dynamic Speaking. It will transform all of those old fears into excited confidence and you will just love to share the word.
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Hypnosis mp3 Downloads Change Your Life!This is a blog about the power of the human mind and body to transform itself. We are creating a community of people who are engaged in making changes -- changes to their health, changes to their self-confidence, changes to their career success -- all positive changes. Here you'll find information about hypnosis, nutrition, alternative health, and self-help in many forms. Enjoy! Fear - Danger = Excitement Matthew Walters - Monday, April 26, 2010
3 Key Tools for a Productive Business Mindset Matthew Walters - Tuesday, April 06, 2010
This week we are discussing 3 Key Tools for a Productive Mindset or what we like to call How to Stay Happy While Eating an Elephant One Bite At a Time on a Journey of 10,000 Miles.
1. Affirmations . . . or "What Are You Saying to Yourself About Yourself?" What most people don’t realize about affirmations is that you are doing them anyway. Each morning as you lie there in bed and you think about getting up to face the day you are saying something to yourself. What you are saying to yourself is extremely important not only in what you get done that day, but also in how you feel while doing it. That’s why we like to choose the thoughts we have on a regular basis. So stand in front of a mirror and repeat your goals, your desires, and your best qualities. When we focus on the positive, we feel good about ourselves. And when we feel good about ourselves we have the confidence to take the actions necessary. So figure out what thoughts would be useful to you. Write them in the present, as if you already feel that way and make sure to make them positive, not the absence of a negative. more on this topic 2. Chunking Down . . . or "How to Manage Overwhelm" One of the bigger problems that small business owners have is to manage all of their ideas and projects without getting overwhelmed by all that needs to be accomplished. What we’ve found is that many people get into overwhelm because of the way that they are thinking about a project. What many tend to do is to chunk everything together until they feel like it’s just too much and maybe it is time for a break. It usually looks like this – “Oh no, did I forget to pay the phone bill? I’d better pay that or the phone will get shut off! I’ll do that after I finish this blog post I’m in the middle of. Don’t forget to call back that potential client! And then I have to get the oil changed on the car. What am I making for dinner again? Oh no, my website traffic has fallen again this week, I’d better call that SEO guy that was recommended to me.” And on, and on, and on . . . until finally you just need to take a break. And once again the phone bill wasn’t paid. So, here is what we suggest. Chunk it down into bite size pieces. Make sure that it feels very doable. And then calendar it. Once that task is done then you can worry about what to do next. Remember, the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. more on this topic 3. Staying in the Zone . . . or "How to Manage Your Feelings" This is a huge problem for small business owners. Fear, stress, anxiety and frustration all can and do stop you from getting things done and from taking the big steps you need to take to grow and prosper. So, what we suggest is that you take a break. Yep, we said it. Step away from the computer. Go outside and take a walk. Maybe get some exercise. Do a sudoku puzzle. Or just sit with a pad and doodle. You need to give your mind a rest from all of that problem solving. Also, feeding your body some endorphins and feeding your mind something creative and whimsical will make you that much more productive when you return to work. more on this topic We hope you enjoyed this little break from all of your so very important tasks and we look forward to guiding you to more joy and less stress on your journey to taking over the business world. Now, doesn’t that look inviting. Got your own favorite tips? COMMENT below and share them with our community! Can You Get In Touch With That Old Fear of Storms? Matthew Walters - Monday, February 01, 2010
Can You Get In Touch With That Old Fear of Storms?There is a lot of advice out there about how to overcome a Fear of Storms. Most of it involves taking a more logical approach to learning about weather patterns and safety precautions. Now, I’m not against information. Being able to look an irrational fear in the face and understand what is really going on can be very helpful. The problem is that old subconscious reaction is powerful and the subconscious does not always respond to rational explanations. You see all of our old behavior has positive intentions. As strange as it may sound, that irrational fear really wants you to feel safe. It has just created a response to a situation that is no longer useful to you. And that may be causing you plenty of unwanted stress and anxiety every time it rains. The way out of your fear of storms is to get in touch with that fear. The way to get in touch with your fear of storms is to become aware of what it feels like physically. Is it heavy or light? Does have energy or movement? Maybe even notice if it has a shape or a color. You see that physical sensation you’re feeling is your subconscious mind communicating with you. And when you get in touch with the qualities of that sensation then you are creating rapport with your subconscious mind. Now that you know what your fear of storms feels like and what it looks like you can begin to ask it some important questions. “What do you want for me?” is a good place to start. We have four basic needs – control, security, approval and separateness. And all of our negative emotions come from a desire to fulfill one of these needs. So ask your fear – “is this a need for control, security, approval or separateness?” and see what it has to say. It will certainly transform your fear of storms if you understand that it is really a need for control or a need for security. That is something you can take action on and really begin to transform. If you want to lose that fear forever, then you should check out our newest hypnosis mp3 download Eye of the Storm, Fear of Storms Hypnosis.
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Is Arachnophobia (Fear of Spiders) Ruining Your Life? DFC Team - Monday, July 20, 2009
“I can never see a spider without going nuts!” Cierra
In doing research for arachnophobia for our new hypnosis mp3 program Overcoming Spider Phobia, I came across some really eye opening statements by people who suffer from this fear. Imagine if you felt an overwhelming, often paralyzing fear of a creature that is so small and fragile you could easily crush it with your shoe. “I always get the feeling they're crawling all over me and I can't move or sleep, its driving me crazy ugh I hate spiders.” Sam What’s so interesting is how few spiders are actually poisonous to humans and how rare those poisonous spiders are. The most famous of the poisonous spiders (Black Widows and Brown Recluse spiders) are notoriously shy and non-aggressive. No human being has ever been officially recorded as having died as the result of a 'tarantula' bite. “I have a huge fear of spiders! This might sound stupid but I can't even touch a picture of a spider. It gets so bad that whenever I come to contact with spiders I can't breathe or even move, my mom or someone has to remove the spider and I have to calm myself down until I can breathe again. I can't stop thinking about them. Sometimes I can't sleep at night.” Rebecca You could say it is the appearance of spiders that make them so fearful to us. However, many insects are more strange and dangerous looking and some reptiles appear downright hostile towards humans. There has never even been a documented case of spider attempting to kill and eat a human. Most spiders’ bites aren’t powerful enough to even break through human skin. “The random fear that a spider might be present, I find, often hits me when I'm turning on water for a shower - when I straighten to pull back the curtain I often get a very strong pang of anxiety that I have only been able to associate with my fear of spiders.” BM Psychologists have traced a fear of spiders to the Middle Ages, when it was believed that spiders carried the Black Plague and other deadly diseases. If a spider was found in water, it was believed that the water was poisoned and undrinkable. A spider found crawling across a plate of food would cause the food to be thrown out. Ironically, many South American and Asian cultures consider spiders to be very tasty and include them in many different meals. “This is ruining my life! I eat, sleep, think spiders. I inspect every space I move in, I am scared when I wake up to put my feet down, if I do see a spider at home, I avoid that area for weeks, unless it is killed, I don't go to certain holiday venues due to previous sighting of spiders . . . I can't touch a magazine with pictures of spiders, I can't watch TV programs about spiders, discussions about spiders make me hiperventilate - in short, I have a 24hr fear of seeing, or touching a spider!” Hanlie So what has caused all of this paralyzing fear? Why are these people and many others so afraid of this tiny creature that keeps your home free of other pesky insects? Usually a fearful event in childhood involving a spider can create a phobic reaction. Sometimes that original event has been forgotten, but its effects are still felt very acutely. It seems as if we have an almost instinctual fear of other predators in the animal kingdom, even it that predator has no desire or ability to see us as prey. However these fears began, they can be quickly and easily overcome. This is not to diminish the nature of the fear as much as magnify the power of the mind. We can quickly and easily create new neural pathways and therefore new emotional reactions. Imagine being able to feel confident or even indifferent to the presence of a spider in your environment. That is the outcome after using our new hypnosis mp3 program, Overcoming Spider Phobia. We have included the most advanced and effective hypnosis and NLP tools available to quickly transform your fear of spiders and allow you to get back to enjoying your life fully. So if you or anyone you know identifies with the quotes above take action and see what it feels like to have your emotions under control and your life back. 5 Steps for Developing Self Confidence and Self Esteem DFC Team - Tuesday, June 30, 2009
5 Steps for Developing Self-Confidence and Self-EsteemWouldn’t it be great to feel comfortable in your own body? To accept all of you, even the ugly parts? We are all perfectly human and it is that human part of us that makes us loveable. Isn’t it time that you learned to love all the parts of you that make you who you are? It is in loving those parts of ourselves that we begin the process of change. And it is in that change that we start to develop self-esteem (i.e. regarding yourself highly or favorably with respect or admiration). When you hold value for yourself then you begin to stand up for your needs in relationships, you ask for what you want and need in your work and you feel good about who you are and the choices you have made. So today we want to share 5 steps for developing self-confidence and self-esteem. 1. Rewriting the Story of Who You Are Write down two versions of your life story. One will be all of the bad things that happened and all of your failures and the other will be all of the good things that happened and all of your successes. Once you are done notice which list you give most of your attention to. Realize that you are the one who chose which events were important to shaping who you are. Make a decision to focus on the memories that make you feel good about who you are. You’re the one who gets to decide how you want to define yourself, not your family, your friends, your teachers or bosses, not even your spouse. 2. What are You Saying to Yourself About Yourself? Negative self-talk is a strong factor in how you feel about yourself. It is difficult to feel good about yourself when you are constantly criticizing yourself. So notice how you talk to yourself. What tone of voice do you use? Is it your voice or someone else’s? What does it say? Imagine that voice coming from your favorite cartoon character. Now what if it is coming from a small speaker and it begins to sound really tinny? Maybe there is even static and the voice becomes difficult to hear. And it could even have some really funny music behind it, maybe like the theme to a cartoon or funny circus music. Now what if instead you imagined a sweet, rich full voice saying, “I love and appreciate myself and all that I am.” Doesn’t that sound a lot better? 3. Begin to Tackle Your List of Faults Using compassion, write down a list of your bad habits. Choose one and take the next few weeks or months to overcome it. Now go down the list and choose another. Take the next few weeks or months to overcome it. Rinse and repeat. You’ll be surprised how many habits you can change in a year when you take them on one at a time. You’ll also feel great about yourself when you look over the year and see what you’ve accomplished. 4. Ask Yourself a Different Question The one question we ask ourselves that gets in the way of feeling good is “Why”. As in “Why did that happen to me?” “Why doesn’t that person like me?” “Why do I feel this way?” Instead, the key is to get outside of yourself and become curious about your feelings. “Isn’t that interesting that I’m feeling that old feeling again. How would I like to feel?” “What do I need to learn in order to become more confident in this area?” “I wonder why this is coming up for me again? What is here for me to learn?” Take your focus away from yourself and towards the outside world. Let go of wondering what other people think of you. Confidence comes from inside you not from the outside world. 5. Take on a new Challenge Take a public speaking course, learn to rock climb, learn to cook or make pottery, run a marathon or a triathlon, learn a new language; there are millions of new things to learn and taking the time and effort to learn them actually makes you feel good because you’ve accomplished something. Make a list of new things you would like to learn and get to work learning them one at a time. It is always best not to overload yourself as that almost always leads to failure. So set yourself up to win by focusing on one thing at a time and see how quickly you move through the list. You can also check out our hypnosis mp3 program “Free to Be Me” which leads you through several powerful processes that develop self-confidence and self-esteem. And there is a bonus affirmation track that you can listen to all day to keep you focused on what you are creating. Reprogramming your subconscious habit of negative self-talk will allow you to step into that new vision of who you really are, which is a limitless, infinitely loveable person. Now, how does that feel? Why Hypnosis mp3 Download Programs are the Most Effective Treatment for Fear of Heights Matthew Walters - Thursday, March 26, 2009
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